Who cares for the Boy Child?

As the world marks the International Day of the Boy Child today, 16th May, 2025, themed: “Building Self Esteem in Boys: Stand Up, Be Heard, Be Seen”, I could not help but juxtaposed the stark contrast between the sea of events and deluge of energy that usually graced the International Girl Child Day with the glum atmosphere that has been characteristic of the International Day of the Boy Child which is marked today.

In spite of the clamour for the narrowing of the gender gap, the plight of boys still remains bleak. Based on my keen observation of social trends, it has come to my notice that the number of out-of-school boys is teeming. For those in school, many of them are churning out poor academic performance, while others suffer from absence of proper guidance and positive leadership role models in their lives. This has resulted to the increment of young boys involved in a plethora of criminal activities, ranging from picking pockets, shoplifting to internet scam and even armed robbery and kidnapping.

One of the primary reasons for the above is the heavy concentration of advocacy projects and programmes on the girl child. I may not have the accurate statistical evidence, but it is safe to say that a good percentage of advocacy programmes are concentrated on the girl child, leaving boys unattended to. The reason for this is not far-fetched: a girl is assumed to be more vulnerable than a boy. In any case, like someone I know would say, ‘Boys always seem to know how to find their way around’. The problem with this logic is that in finding their way around on their own, many boys are ill-equipped to deal with the reality that the world bestows upon their shoulders. Thus, they become ‘emergency men’, and possibly end up as deadbeat fathers, abusive husbands, insecure boyfriends, controlling bosses and uncaring brothers and uncles.

Sadly, the net effect of the above is that the girl child will have little or no peace in the world, because she is operating in a space with a boy that is grossly disadvantaged by dint of his ability to ‘survive on his own’.  Ironically, society seems to expect the boy child to play the protective and providing role of big brother, boyfriend, father and uncle. This is not a justification of the irresponsibility of many men, but an appeal that we should tackle the root cause instead of treating the symptoms.

To put a lid to this piece, let me say that taking care of the boy is as important as taking care of the girl. Neither should be abandoned. Even though nature may have endowed them with different strength to handle adversities, they were both incubated for nine months in their mothers’ wombs. Additionally, in teaching equality, boys should not be feminised. They should be taught to be self-assured, real men. This can be done by recognising their needs, especially emotionally.

To my fellow boys, feel free to be a man. By this I mean exert yourself using your God-given potentials, not by doing the negative things but by coming through positively for yourself, for you are first an individual, your family, friends and the society at large. Let us change the recent, negative narrative about boys, and men in general. Thank you.

Chimamkpam Njoku wrote in from Abuja and can be reached at [email protected]